KIsstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Ladies remember: Being honest and direct doesn't make you a B*tch. It makes you the Realest B*tch no-one dares to mess with.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 03:38 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gangsters in skinny jeans and tight tees? Where do they keep their guns, drug paraphernalia... and food stamps?
←Rate | 03-17-2013 14:05 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to a paramedic.
←Rate | 04-05-2012 10:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I opened up a can of coke and it said, "Sorry, you didn't win". I didn't even know I was playing, yet I was still disappointed.
←Rate | 04-05-2012 16:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice guys don't finish last, they finish by themselves in front of the computer.
←Rate | 02-23-2012 13:47 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all the people I don't love, I don't love you the most.
←Rate | 02-17-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon What doesn't kill me, might make me kill you.
←Rate | 03-10-2012 03:42 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Slut, Maybe if you closed your legs and opened your heart you might actually find true love and know happiness.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 02:23 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think a tampon makes a better vampire than the twilight guy.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 13:32 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just been told I'm not sexist. Being sexist is wrong and being wrong is for women.
←Rate | 01-30-2012 07:58 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My tombstone will probably say, "Dead, but finally sober".
←Rate | 04-13-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one honked at me ever since I put a bumper sticker on the back of my car that says "Honk if you're a piece of shi t".
←Rate | 10-18-2012 08:03 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't love with my heart...I love with my imagination.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 07:11 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only when they're in a fix and in need your help do they come to you all sweet and humble. I won't buy that sh*t. Fu*k you and your problems.
←Rate | 06-23-2011 10:33 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been told I speak fluent sexual innuendo.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 23:08 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why I even bother having a iPhone anymore. It spends so much time on charge, you might as well call it a landline.
←Rate | 04-18-2012 15:08 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a girl at Starbucks with a duck face. Felt bad because I left my bread crumbs at home.
←Rate | 05-19-2013 10:35 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guy's Remember : While You're Sitting There All Day Playing Call Of Duty , Your Girl Is Calling Someone Else To Come And Do Your Duty .
←Rate | 08-18-2011 14:07 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon A doctor's 5 minutes is longer than a woman's 5 minutes, so if a female doctor tells you she'll back in be 5 minutes…you're screwed.
←Rate | 10-03-2012 09:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girl Logic: I'd like him a lot more if he ignored and liked me a little less.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 15:08 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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