Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

   From now on, if we text longer than a week, we better fall in love. If not, you paying my phone bill for wasting my unlimited texts.

   If you ever see your girl smiling at her phone, she probably laughing at my posts and picturing our life together after she leaves you.

   When I say 'Netflix & Chill' sometimes I mean that. Stop kissin' my neck and watch this serial killer documentary with me or get the tf out.

   Sometimes you just gotta text your ex and remind them they ain't sh*t... Just in case they forgot.

   Most women don't even need to workout. Y'all burn enough calories jumping to conclusions.

   When girls are mad at you, there's a typo in every word 'cuz they texting so fast.

   If you don't grab your girls booty at least 46 times a day, you're living life all wrong.

   When I get a girl I'm gonna show her off. Guys who think being sweet to their girl is lame have that childish mindstate.

   If I liked a pic of you and your man, it doesn't mean I'm mature... It means holla at me if he acting up.

   Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail... Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn’t be done over text.

   Sorry I got drunk and angry and said all those things I meant but still shouldn’t have said.

   I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.

   If you're dating someone, you really shouldn't give a sh*t what anyone who's not in your relationship thinks about it.

   Guys will never win an argument with their girl. You think you won and 3 hours later she comes back for round 2.

   Nobody talks on the phone anymore. If I like you, I'd rather hear your voice. Texting has made sh*t less intimate.

   If you can't sleep, call your ex and harass them. They don't deserve to sleep either.

   Gotta grab your girls booty in public to let other guys know you bout that life.

   If you piss your girl off, she'll tell you Goodnight at 2pm.

   Let's cuddle, eat junk food and watch football.

   Date a girl who watches football with you and lets you grab her ass during commercials.