KIsstopher Funny Status Messages
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I'm black but not "ain't nobody got time for that" black.
Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. A lot of animals do things. It is not our place to judge.
Ever just apologize for no reason whatsoever? No? It must be nice being single.
If I were a Caveman I would have masturbated in front of a T-Rex just to make him jealous!
Excuse me guys, help here. What does it mean if the husband of a woman you have been flirting with on Facebook sends you a friend request? Am I in trouble? Should I be worried?
Don't be pushed around by your problems; be led by your courage.
When a woman says "I can't get laid" we all know she's just being damn picky.
I miss being late for work because of morning sex. Now, it's because I dress my cat as Gandolph.
People hate the truth. Luckily, the truth doesn't care.
Whoever '' Shawty'' is , she apparently has alot of rapper boyfriends.
I can’t control you're being an idiot, but I can control whether or not you’re on my friends list.
A burp is just a fart that took the elevator.
If it was up to me, Pregnancy test would only have 2 cool results; PINK - You are screwed & BLUE - Keep on screwing.
A friend got mugged coming out of K-Mart and is devastated. I feel the same way because I had no idea I knew people that shopped there.
She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.
Its my birthday today and I am feeling so special even the supermarket doors are opening by themselves when they see me coming through.
Remember when I loved you unconditionally? Well the terms of that arrangement have changed.
I always bring some wire cutters to parties, just in case someone else brings a guitar.
News Reporter: "So what inspired you to work with Chris Brown?" Rihanna: "Beats me..."
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