Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   50% of marriages end in divorce and the other 50% end by a "relationship status" on facebook.

   Sugar Babies --- College girls hooking up with older men to pay their tuition.

   "Watch what the idiots are doing and do the opposite." ~ Robert Kiyosaki

   Thank you Pringles® for being the only chip company that doesn't sell air.

   Tips for Guys on Valentine's Day: Tell your girl you already got somethingn and make her guess. She'll automatically list things she want.

   Cut off fake people for real reasons, NOT real people for fake reasons.

   Silence doesn't always mean 'Yes'. Sometimes it means "I'm tired of explaining to people who don't even care to understand."

   Arguing with a person who has rejected the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.

   Dear Ladies: Smiles are more attractive than duckfaces. Keep that in mind when you're editing your dating profile.

   It turns out if a person looks into your eyes for more than 6 seconds without blinking, he/she wants to either kill you or have sex with you.

   The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.

   Women who say that men only want to have is sex are the women who have nothing else to offer than that.

   Chocolate contains 'phenylethylamine'. That's the same natural chemical your brain produces when you fall in love. And you wonder why women like chocolate.

   Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this bit¢h breathing out of her nose like she owns the oxygen here."

   Shout out to all the KKK members who have a birthday in Black History month and a birthday on the same day as MLK.

   "This is America. We don't stop doing something 'cause it's wrong. We just keep doing it til it's right." - Ed Wuncler (The Boondocks)

   Roses are red, violets are blue. A bag of weed is cheaper than a dinner for two.

   I heard Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian never really got into high school. Which is not surprising as to why a lot of dudes got into them.

   Telling an atheist to respect your religion is like telling a black person to respect the KKK.

   I opened up Microsoft Word, sneezed all over my keyboard, I accidently made a Honey Boo Boo reality show script.