Kisstopher Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Screw a designated driver. I need a designated liver.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 15:32 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook seriously needs to start asking some people, “Are you SURE you want to post that stupidity?" before it allows them to update their status.
←Rate | 12-05-2011 08:32 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon No you are not an independant woman... You are just an adult. Having a car, paying yo bills, paying rent is part of adult life
←Rate | 06-15-2011 07:49 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon A pastor was caught by a fellow church member breaking into a church safe. The pastor shouted, “Blessed are those who see no evil, hear no evil and tell no evil” The fellow church member replied, "Amen, for they shall receive their equal share"
←Rate | 10-27-2011 05:04 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon On his girlfriend's birthday, a guy took her to the car sale. Pointing at a tomato red BMW, he says, "Happy birthday honey! You see that red car? I bought you nail polish in the same colour”.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 02:20 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Carpe Scrotum (grab life by the balls)
←Rate | 09-24-2012 10:39 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love it when a girl tell me she is not a slut and then 2-hours latter I've got her feet behind her ears while screaming my name.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 10:45 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon If sex is the food of love then masturbation must be the snacks between meals.
←Rate | 05-13-2011 09:59 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Always remember: Sometimes you can make people UNHAPPY with your HAPPINESS.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 07:01 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon Maybe it's the beer talking but I really love beer.
←Rate | 02-27-2012 09:42 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have absolutely no problem telling my boss to go screw himself when he isn't here.
←Rate | 08-22-2012 09:37 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon That moment when you're going to stalk someone and you end up stalking 5 more people because you need to understand the whole conversation.
←Rate | 11-07-2012 07:47 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies, it's football season. Time to dust off your vibrat0rs.
←Rate | 09-15-2012 05:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Vodka says, everything will be okay. At least for a few hours.
←Rate | 09-15-2012 06:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon You win some, you booze some!
←Rate | 10-09-2012 14:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some guys mess up and lose a good woman because they are so used to dealing with sluts that they have forgotten what it takes to keep a real woman.
←Rate | 08-31-2011 04:05 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only thing worse than the “FRIEND ZONE” is the "SHE-THINKS-YOU-ARE GAY-ZONE".
←Rate | 04-01-2012 10:41 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon We Found Love in a Swollen Face - Chris Brown ft. Rihanna
←Rate | 02-23-2012 13:58 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please don't do your soul searching at the bar, some of us are trying to enjoy our whisky here.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 08:01 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

   messageicon While you're busy staring at your phone flirting, your bored and neglected spouse is probably out doing someone else for real.
←Rate | 10-13-2012 07:53 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  

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