Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 18:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Summer weather; it's not the heat, its the stupidity...
←Rate | 06-30-2010 22:11 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It wasn't until Rick gazed upon a photo on her facebook after 4 kids, and 80 pounds that he finally stopped wishing he had Jessie's girl.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 18:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is doing maintenance on my account. I hope that means they're airbrushing my profile pics!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 19:48 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just before I die I'm going to get my hand stamped in case I want to come back in.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 19:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me...
←Rate | 04-06-2010 02:24 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon girl next to me at work is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup... NICE!
←Rate | 04-28-2010 13:43 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hangovers are for people foolish enough to stop drinking.
←Rate | 07-11-2010 15:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Halloween I'll be a banker. I'll eat all my candy, all yours, then convince the government that if I don't get more candy we all starve.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon This isn't quite what I wanted to be when I grew up, but it was the best I could do on such short notice.
←Rate | 04-26-2010 20:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have often regretted my speech, never my silence...
←Rate | 04-29-2010 23:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My futon might pull out, but I don't!
←Rate | 05-01-2010 14:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My philosophy? People who have creepy dungeons probably don't wear a watch. So, when a stranger asks for the time, I pepper spay them.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:47 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon used the search term "the perfect job for me" on google and it laughed at me...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants you to know that you have my undivided, continuous, partial attention.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 18:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe this world is another planet's hell...
←Rate | 04-28-2010 22:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The dog keeps licking his butt and staring at me. I don't feel bad for him though. I tried to give him toilet paper and he ate it.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you accept a penny for your thoughts, not only are you a philosophical prostitute. You're not a very good one.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon This day needs more yesterday...
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is like Jenga: you pull out and try not to make a mess
←Rate | 05-14-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  




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