Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 13 of 6370
Just a reminder: Walmart will be closed on Christmas Day so both cashiers can be with their families.
Has Missouri ever done a tourism ad with the slogan ‘Missouri Loves Company?’ If not, what is even the point of Missouri?
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12-07-2023 09:08 by RobbieG
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November should have one more day because to me November 31st sounds real. NOT just because I wrote it on a cheque.
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12-06-2023 14:58
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Most problems can be solved with nudity
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12-05-2023 10:07 by RobbieG
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OK. Who decided to call it an allergist and not an antisneeziologist?
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12-04-2023 20:49
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My wife weighs a ton. She wanted to get her belly button pierced . She got a hitch.
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12-04-2023 15:17 by Stugatz
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Christmas and Thanksgiving should be at least 6 months apart. It's insane to see these people again so soon. Absurd.
I'm tired of winter! I want to fast-forward to complaining about how hot it is!
My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1984.
I left my heart in San Francisco. Last I heard it was living in Tent City with a pimp named Tiny Johnson.
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12-01-2023 08:57
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How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh? Nothing it’s on the house!
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12-01-2023 00:52
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Natalie woods told Robert Wagner,
"You haven't got me wet in years",
he said, "oh yeah,
watch this".
buttcheeks one word or do you have to separate them?
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11-30-2023 08:04
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There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those losers has decided to become Batman
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11-29-2023 10:19 by RobbieG
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They opened a restaurant on the moon. Great food, but no atmosphere.
If anyone’s wondering what to get me this year all I want for Christmas is summer.
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11-27-2023 17:47
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90% of all electrical vehicles are still on the road today. The other 10% made it all the way home.
Them: What kind of person are you? Me: I'm a place or thing, thank you.
CUNT !
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11-25-2023 12:03 by Leroy
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Blunt
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11-24-2023 16:50
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