Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I like to refer to celebrity relationships with huge age differences like speeding tickets, Ex: Hef is currently doing 84 in a 20
←Rate | 04-19-2010 19:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maytag just recalled 1.7 million dishwashers. This immigration issue is really getting out of hand.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon To save time, lets just assume I'm NEVER wrong!
←Rate | 06-02-2010 22:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the store didn't want me to flop naked into the frozen foods, it shouldn't have put them so close to the front door on a 90° day.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously, "BFF" I've haven't spoken to in 4 months, you deleted me on Facebook?? It only took me a month to notice. I thought we were tight
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Summer weather; it's not the heat, its the stupidity...
←Rate | 06-30-2010 22:11 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 18:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meeting an old friend for drinks after work. Hope he doesn't bring up that Farmville invite I ignored.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop crying. You asked what I thought of your haircut and "macho" is a compliment where I come from, lady...
←Rate | 05-22-2010 14:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Starting a sentence with "I don't want to sound creepy but" doesn't de-creepify the rest of the sentence.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 19:58 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a better idea. Tell your boobs to stop staring at me, it's very distracting
←Rate | 05-14-2010 18:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only talk sh*t when I'm strategically located near bouncers.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:33 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently the forklifts at home depot are "not meant for racing and for employee use only."They should really get a sign..
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:54 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon not bitter. I'm just unsweetened...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:45 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The law says I can't drive with an open container, but it says nothing about jello shots!!
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:55 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If idle hands are the Devil's Playground than Facebook is a full blown amusement park.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon What? That's not what "do the robot" means? It's a dance? Oh god. I am SO sorry about your robot.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 18:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks that if I was a zookeeper, I wouldn't even bother putting anything in the chameleon exhibit.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 18:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that if at first you don't succeed, you should pray that your future Honor Roll student takes care of you.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 22:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life coach just benched me.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:34 by Joser Comments (0)  




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