Czovczov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I hope I can kill my feelings before my liver.
←Rate | 10-30-2012 15:36 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there's so heavy.
←Rate | 08-10-2012 09:42 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You need a woman whose last name doesn't end in .jpg, .wmv, or .mpg
←Rate | 08-17-2012 13:26 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being too nice to people will make them take advantage of you. Being disrespectful will make them loath you. Not getting to know them in the first place will spare you both.
←Rate | 07-30-2013 12:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I often send texts to random numbers that say. "Guess whose restraining order's expired!?" Eventually I'm bound to get a hysterical reply.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 12:08 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to go for a run this morning. Then I remembered I don't run so I put some whiskey in my coffee and sat back down.
←Rate | 11-30-2013 13:03 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "IT'S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
←Rate | 01-18-2015 06:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I fear the day someone invents a vibrator that can also open jars.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 13:53 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
←Rate | 11-13-2015 11:29 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another fine day ruined by responsibility.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 09:56 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I hear women whine about wanting men who cuddle, listen, call them sweet names, and help clean around the house, I think there's a name for that. Lesbians.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 10:12 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm getting drunk while depressed. If I have your phone number, now would be a good time to your phone off.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 14:17 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apple is coming out with a 60 inch flat screen, and now I have to explain to my son why community college is good enough.
←Rate | 04-09-2013 09:25 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon How in the hell do Chinese people see when they're high?
←Rate | 09-11-2012 15:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Advice for the ladies: Skip the boob tattoo. That cute little tiger you get will someday turn into a giraffe.
←Rate | 05-16-2013 02:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything's on sale when I'm broke.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 15:08 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If only plastic surgeons also sold class.
←Rate | 02-22-2013 07:24 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to coffee I'm no longer exhausted. I'm alert and exhausted instead.
←Rate | 05-02-2014 08:57 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When is decency going to be cool again?
←Rate | 08-28-2012 10:32 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're single and you know it hug your cat!
←Rate | 03-03-2013 06:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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