Abraham lincoln Funny Status Messages
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Page: 11 of 11
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Here I am!.......Now what are your other two wishes?!!!
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Nothing says ''I'm a fat a$$ like wearing a T-shirt in the pool!
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I'm not saying you're ugly! I'm just saying you're a 12 pack away from being why type!!!
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No matter how old you are an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a Sword!
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Dont take me for granted, because I will leave your a$$ in at a moments notice!
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I am glad McDonalds doesn't sell hotdogs! I would hate to order a McWeiner!...And don't even get me started on Super Size!!!
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Sex is like Math, You subtract the clothes, Add a Bed, Divide the legs, and hope you don't Multiply!!!
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You know you're a Lo$er if your mom wants you to help set-up things for your twins Surprise Birthday Party!!!
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When the teacher says you'll be working with partners then adds ''But I'll be assigning them!''
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This has been the Hottet July in U.S. history! And not just because of ''Magic Mike'' and ''50 Shades of Grey'' temperatures have benn up also!!!
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Why don't you slip into something nice like a ______________
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''Magic Mike''.......if I hear this one more time I hitting someone with an ''Open Mike!!!''
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I know we are in a seious debate on your status! And I totally disagree with everything you've said. But I can't commnt yet, because I have no idea what I' talking/arguing about, and i'm waiting for Google to load!!!
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Due to the Economy, remember that money I said never to worry about?!!!
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Marys dragging me to some play tonight #bored #killme
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My parents accused me of being a liar today! All I said was ''Santa Claus'' ''Easter Bunny'' '' Tooth Fairy'' and walked away. Shut them Up!!!
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Funny how when I see someone from High School I suddenly hve a great job and am trying to stick a key in a car I in the parking lot that I could never afford!
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