KIsstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 15:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget about sexy, I am bringing good manners back!
←Rate | 10-20-2012 15:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girl Logic: I'd like him a lot more if he ignored and liked me a little less.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 15:08 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Masturbation is like math. You can always count on your fingers.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 12:37 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went on Twitter this week. Don't worry, they are not getting any sex there either.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 05:38 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You seem insecure. Let's go out for drinks.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 13:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I promise, I'm only gonna have 2 beers tonight.... 2 beers in dog beers
←Rate | 10-19-2012 13:03 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men resolve a fight with a fist fight. Women resolve a fight with years of backstabbing, name calling, rumor spreading & social exclusion.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 09:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who do I speak to about quitting adulthood?
←Rate | 10-19-2012 08:45 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one honked at me ever since I put a bumper sticker on the back of my car that says "Honk if you're a piece of shi t".
←Rate | 10-18-2012 08:03 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon it like illegal to make a movie scene where the people runaway from a bomb when there's more than 30 seconds left for the explosion?
←Rate | 10-18-2012 08:02 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a 100% chance I will never be depressed again if I could get myself a pet Panda.
←Rate | 10-18-2012 08:01 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I overheard my neighbor telling someone on the phone that I am creepy and wierd. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed and confront her.
←Rate | 10-17-2012 14:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just turned a mortgage payment into wine. Your move, Jesus.
←Rate | 10-16-2012 08:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a p enis doesn't make you a man. Getting mad at some Ikea wood pieces after not reading the instructions makes you a real man.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 14:10 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quick! Marry me, I'll explain later.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 14:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My biggest fear is being the guy that gets pushed out of the way when a criminal is running from a cop.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 06:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I make PMS jokes around women all the time just to know what it feels like to live dangerously.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 05:50 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon While you're busy staring at your phone flirting, your bored and neglected spouse is probably out doing someone else for real.
←Rate | 10-13-2012 07:53 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never bring a knife to a fight. I bring my brain. It's much sharper.
←Rate | 10-12-2012 14:37 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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