joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming...
←Rate | 05-01-2010 14:37 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon It would be some much easier for me to be compassionate, if compassionate meant smacking people in the head.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:04 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so hot in here Nelly and his crew just showed up.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday morning is the time we go through photos from the weekend and figure out what the hell happened. I swear that goat said he had ID.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Conan O'Brien was on 60 Minutes this weekend . Jay Leno appeared 30 minutes in to take over due to 60 minutes "losing viewers and profits."
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think there's any limit to how many blades they'll put on razors? Like in 2025 there will be the Schick Annihilator 100.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon McDonald's in a Walmart is like serving alcohol at an AA meeting.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:26 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon my 7 year old is all "F*ck homework!" and I'm all "I didn't adopt an Asian baby for you to suck at school!"
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon An Unemployment Registry would make a lot more sense than a Wedding Registry.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It rubs the iPad on its skin or else it gets the Kindle again.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monday Morning just logged me out due to inactivity...
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't look at me like I'm crazy when I ask if your store caries Ancient Indian Burial Ground Test Kits...
←Rate | 05-03-2010 17:32 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way...
←Rate | 05-03-2010 19:23 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon It takes a big man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 19:24 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon has turned on Airplane mode on his Palm Pre, but so far it hasn't taken off.
←Rate | 05-03-2010 19:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon KFC is donating money towards breast cancer. They don't want anything killing their customers except heart disease.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that everyone is either trying to preserve or disprove who they were in highschool? We were all a bunch of midget dipsh*ts making minimum wage covered in pimples
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am used but in good condition
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:48 by Joser Comments (0)  




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