JAB Funny Status Messages

   So, who wants to play go F#ck yourself. Oh my sarcasm never ceases to amaze me. . .

   I use white eggs, does that make me prejudice ?

   Who remembers when a quarter was worth 12 dollars. I could buy a pack of cigarettes, a can of Pepsi and a bag of chips for a quarter. . .

   If you're in a vehicle traveling at the speed of light and you put your head lights on does it act as breaks and slow you down. . .

   If he doesn't with the Super Bowl this year with the Jets. Rex Ryan asked Bill Belichick to sell him one of his Super Bowl rings. . .

   Who wants to see a picture of my toasted bagel with cream cheese. . .

   I just seen a chicken cross the road. I'm not even going to question it. It's not like the chicken is going to answer me back. . .

   Shout out to all my peeps and be glad I am not drinking or I would be drunk calling you right now @2:13AM. . .. . .

   I was just reading, 3 Steps to Repair Your Metabolism. My three steps are. Get a beer, open beer and drink said beer. . .

   I often wonder, people with full body art tattoos. Does their $hit come out rainbow colored. . .

   The only reason God gave women legs, is so they don't leave snail trails. . .

   If we sacrifice Justine Beiber to Satan, it would bring world peace. . .

   Hillary has been sending me sexual explicit emails for years. . .

   I have an eating disorder. It called not starving to death. . .

   The American Quarter Horse has unique features that make it specially suited for a variety of tasks. Ya, Quarter pounder with cheese at McDonalds. Coincidence ?

   I bought new c#m catchers, I mean socks. . .

   A word from our sponsors. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Because it's Thanksgiving and gobble, gobble. . .

   O.J wants to move to Florida. Florida doesn't want him. He can move in with me, think of all the publicity I'll get. . .

   I recently had a bad break up with Mari Juana. I am going to miss her.

   I changed my passwords to incorrect, so when I forget it tells me. Your password is incorrect. . .