Czovczov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My favorite workout routine is putting my phone in my pocket and taking it out every 30 seconds.
←Rate | 05-06-2013 00:52 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Be honest with me" means "lie convincingly".
←Rate | 05-16-2012 14:22 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You're right I'm sorry. You're right I'm sorry. You're right I'm sorry. You're right I'm sorry" - me practicing for a successful relationship.
←Rate | 07-26-2013 13:11 by Czovczov Comments (1)  


   messageicon Life takes you where you are meant to be. Apparently I am meant to be poor with a ton of education and experience.
←Rate | 11-24-2012 13:52 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, if you're going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.
←Rate | 03-30-2016 00:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a woman says "the girls" I automatically assume she is talking about her boobs, not her actual friends.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 14:36 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon What a beautiful world it would be if only boobs were the answer to all the world's problems.
←Rate | 10-03-2012 13:38 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lots of woman stay in relationships just to have somebody around to kill spiders and open jars.
←Rate | 08-08-2012 15:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't be the reason behind her smile, at least be the reason she walks funny for a while!
←Rate | 07-06-2013 14:07 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I get angry, I calm myself down by repeating these 5 words over and over again, “Bartender, Give Me A Double”
←Rate | 01-13-2012 01:40 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If "Bieber fever" is when a Justin Bieber song comes on the radio and you start throwing up and stabbing yourself in he ear, then yes I have had Bieber fever before.
←Rate | 06-02-2013 13:03 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snoring is just God's way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
←Rate | 11-05-2014 13:15 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon In group discussions, chicks with big boobs always seem to say the right things.
←Rate | 03-03-2013 06:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon America has got to be the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer.
←Rate | 03-24-2014 14:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twilight did to vampires what Brokeback Mountain did to cowboys.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 13:00 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kanye and Kim finally break up - does that automatically put her back on the Black market? Asking for Lil Wayne.
←Rate | 04-14-2013 11:51 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do some people just wake up one day and think, "I already have 2 bumper stickers, why not 70?"
←Rate | 04-02-2013 02:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two Facebook addicts walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says.... ...nothing
←Rate | 12-23-2012 08:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moving to a new place and people will have a compulsion to say, "but, you won't know anybody there." Like that's a bad thing.
←Rate | 01-10-2014 07:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I overheard an old dude at the bar tell the bartender not to put ice in his drink because 'you'll bruise the scotch' Changed my life.
←Rate | 02-12-2014 11:37 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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