lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 02:21 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to modern medicine, people can be sexually active long past the age when anyone wants to see them naked.
←Rate | 02-11-2010 19:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I sing,i put the cat in the front yard. That way,the neighbours can see it and know it's not being strangled.
←Rate | 02-24-2010 12:11 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're getting older when the candles cost more than the cake.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 15:59 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember, the next time Iceland says "pull my finger" ignore it
←Rate | 04-19-2010 02:38 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 11:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon will be attending Sleep. Invited By : Mr Sandman.RSVP: Yes. Location: My Bed. Time: Now until 7 Am.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 20:34 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This day is going so well..ill give it 10/10/10!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 12:38 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there are ice cream vans in the summer, why cant we have Starbucks vans in the winter?
←Rate | 02-09-2011 18:10 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 07:29 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put on my favorite winter jacket for the first time the other day, and as soon as I put my hands in those pockets, I was immediately reminded that last year I didn't have any money, either.
←Rate | 01-03-2010 13:31 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between divorce and legal seperation is that legal seperation gives a husband time to hide his money.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 13:11 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is too complicated in the morning.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 10:11 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..New Year's Resolution: Drink More. Fall Down Less. She'll put that to the test tonight.
←Rate | 12-31-2009 11:32 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If life were more like a movie, we'd all be dead after about 90 minutes.
←Rate | 09-09-2010 13:42 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon 100% of all divorces are caused by marriage.
←Rate | 11-05-2009 05:07 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends
←Rate | 07-02-2010 15:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason I'm single? She wouldn't marry me when I was drinking and I wouldn't marry her when I was sober.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 09:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mondays aren't so bad...it's my job that sucks.
←Rate | 11-17-2009 13:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why was the blonde angry when she got her driver's license? Because she couldn't believe she had an F in sex.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 02:46 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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