KIsstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm just being myself. Who the hell are you being?
←Rate | 11-13-2012 14:00 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet there is nothing a hug from a panda can't fix.
←Rate | 11-12-2012 12:29 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon I wish I loved anything as much as Donald Trump loves to be relevant.
←Rate | 11-12-2012 12:28 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman is never more persuasive than when she's holding a shotgun or a bacon sandwich.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 02:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell haven't had enough vodka. Here is another glass.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 02:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, I will judge you by how you treat other people even if you're sweet as pie to me. Be kind or go to hell.
←Rate | 11-08-2012 12:32 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment when you're going to stalk someone and you end up stalking 5 more people because you need to understand the whole conversation.
←Rate | 11-07-2012 07:47 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon WTF! I was about to drink my vodka but it started screaming so I stopped and asked "what's wrong?", it said "you forgot to post a pic of me on your Facebook wall" and slapped me!
←Rate | 11-04-2012 10:34 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are not complicated at all, except when they expect us to read between the lines.
←Rate | 11-02-2012 15:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriages are made in heaven by angels who themselves are happy bachelors.
←Rate | 11-02-2012 13:48 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A quick and easy way to take care of a problem is to light it on fire.
←Rate | 10-29-2012 12:49 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want my 15 mins of fame to happen in the bedroom.
←Rate | 10-28-2012 15:22 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm 94% sure I'm going to die in a running in flip flops incident.
←Rate | 10-28-2012 12:23 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon The most popular costume tonight is "girl that won't talk to me."
←Rate | 10-28-2012 02:22 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I make it rain on them hoes.” - Clouds
←Rate | 10-28-2012 02:11 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When will companies understand their packaging is being opened by human beings not robots?
←Rate | 10-27-2012 14:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the type of person that gets distracted by the race between the grey & red bars on Youtube, and forgets about the video.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 13:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quitting whilst you're ahead is all very well until it comes to sex.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 13:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is better after having sex. Or when you know you're about to have sex. Or when you know someone is dying to have sex with you.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 08:08 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just dropped my phone, is everyone okay?!
←Rate | 10-20-2012 15:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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