Slickpony Funny Status Messages
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"Dijon found himself spread upon a bed of lettuce, atop a thin slice of turkey breast....enveloped by steamy buns....garnished with a sweet, crisp pickle...." ~~ Excerpt from my new book "50 SHADES OF GREY POUPON"....
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08-01-2012 01:06 by Slickpony
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you know....I'm still waiting on the "Once you go black, you'll never go back" episode of Mythbusters....
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02-14-2012 08:46 by Slickpony
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so....I just found a bottle of 5-Hour Energy in the gutter.....there was still 18 minutes of energy in it....just the boost I needed....
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02-08-2012 12:28 by Slickpony
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so....I've decided I'm going to write the first Gangsta Rap adaptation of Winnie-The-Pooh....I'm gonna call it 'Tigga Please'....
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04-24-2012 17:07 by Slickpony
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you know....they say one in every four men are gay....so there must be one in my group of friends.....I hope it's Michael, 'cuz he's super cute....
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04-23-2012 15:10 by Slickpony
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you know...."Manuscript" is probably the classiest place to hide the word "anus"....
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02-14-2012 08:44 by Slickpony
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you know....I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader"....but I can buy booze!....so Booyah B!itches!!
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02-03-2012 01:49 by Slickpony
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This Unicorn soup is freaking delicious! ~~ Noah, probably
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02-09-2012 14:59 by Slickpony
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so....my uncle came out of the closet yesterday....Oh, he's not gay....he just has Alzheimer's and thought it was his car....
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02-03-2012 01:47 by Slickpony
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did you know....that if you set fire to LMFAO....they'll become ROTFLMAO?
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02-07-2012 02:26 by Slickpony
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you know....right now I'm pretty disgusted with MIA....OH, not for giving America the finger....but because we were >this< close to forgetting her annoying ass ever existed....
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02-05-2012 23:42 by Slickpony
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so....has anyone else ever noticed....that Kurt Cobain killed himself one month after Justin Bieber was born....I guess Kurt knew....
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02-10-2012 23:17 by Slickpony
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you know....it seems Assholism runs in my family....
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02-10-2012 11:46 by Slickpony
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so....I think if you win The Voice, you should get to motorboat Christina Aguilera....but, to be fair, if you lose....you have to motorboat Cee Lo Green....
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02-05-2012 23:23 by Slickpony
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so....unfortunately....I put the "tiny" in "Is it in yet?" :(
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02-09-2012 14:54 by Slickpony
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"Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook....yes, I'll hold"....
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02-08-2013 00:34 by Slickpony
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so....I often joke that my wife is too fat for sex....I call her 'Missionary Impossible'....
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07-12-2012 23:50 by Slickpony
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"Can't You Just Let Me Watch The Damn Football Game?" ~~ the Working Title of my new Childrens book, probably....
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08-01-2012 01:08 by Slickpony
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It picks the movie out quickly from the Redbox or it gets the hose again....you stupid b!tch....
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07-13-2012 18:26 by Slickpony
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Look here Dora....If you ever want to see your monkey friend again you are gonna stick these condoms full of heroin in your ass and get them through customs....
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07-13-2012 18:27 by Slickpony
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