GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages

   I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted it was for my lawn mower but I am trying to stay positive.

   Whatever you got to do today, do it with the confidence of a 4yr old in a Batman cape.

   I need to stop talking to myself. I'm a bad influence.

   Procrastination really is a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.

   If you see me talking to myself, don't judge us. We're trying to talk ourselves out of doing something stupid.

   I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today. His parents weren't too happy about it.

   When you die people cry and beg for you to come back. But when you do, there's the running and the screaming.

   When I'm behind a slow car I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see it isn't my fault.

   Wanna make a car dealer uncomfortable? Just say, "Tell me if you can hear this". Then get in the trunk and start screaming.

   I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer... THEN IT HIT ME.