minnie haha Funny Status Messages
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I’m posing nude for an art class this evening. Nobody asked me to. I think they’re making ceramic bowls.
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Apparently a swizzle stick is NOT a wand. Further, I have been advised by the bouncers that I will henceforth be unable to go “Bippity Boppity Boo” on anyone else’s arse tonight.
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Can't the gov't just call in Jon Taffer and do this shutdown thing right?
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I accidentally drank two energy drinks this morning and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
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Whatever you do - when a policeman comes to your door with his handcuffs out and asks for you, do not try to put a dollar bill in his belt using your teeth. .....do not ask me how I know that.
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Twinkies are like Val Kilmer, bloated, saturated in fat, and no one’s had them in their mouth since the 80's.
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Text from hubby: Wanna go to Lowe’s and get a new toilet seat tonight? Me: Hell yeah! In your face single people. IN. YOUR. FACE.
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I’m on to you mister..... there were no pearls and that was NOT a necklace.
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The American flags on the moon have been bleached white from 44 years of solar radiation. Just great. If aliens ever attack, we've already surrendered.
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Another World's Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
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