GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages
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I'll give credit where credit is due but I ain't gonna applaud a fish for swimming.
At any given time, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
I wish I had enough money to discover that it doesn't actually make me happy.
My bank balance is a constant reminder that I'm safe from identity theft.
Marriage tip: Your wife values honesty. So if your wife asks you if her best friend is prettier than her, just say yes. Your wife will value and appreciate your opinion, and she will love you more for it.
I think it's only a matter of time until "Security Cameras of Walmart" is a hit reality show.
Here's how I define marriage: Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I went to the grocery store today and the cashier said my total was $208.47. I wanted a second opinion so I went to self checkout and my new total was $43.20.
I just realized why this month is called May. It may rain, it may snow, it may be 70 degrees or it may be 20 degrees.
I can handle most things in life. But hearing someone chew their food is not one of them.
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