GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Jellyfish have survived 650 million years, despite not having a brain. This gives so many people hope.
←Rate | 06-11-2023 17:45 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love it when people get mad and speed past me, only to end up at the same red light.
←Rate | 07-30-2024 08:35 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag, but I was alive when you could SLAM the phone down to hang up on someone. It was spectacular!
←Rate | 06-19-2024 08:41 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm behind a slow car I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see it isn't my fault.
←Rate | 04-12-2024 05:59 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to make lists. I also like to leave them on the kitchen counter and then guess what's on the list while I'm in the store.
←Rate | 07-07-2024 05:42 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon So you unfollowed me on Facebook. You sure showed me.
←Rate | 07-05-2024 08:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know when a dog sticks his head out of a moving car window, bites at the air and it lpoks like fun? I tried it. It is.
←Rate | 09-08-2024 18:28 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is not talking to me today because she asked me what the female equivalent of the "mancave" is and I told her it's called the kitchen.
←Rate | 02-20-2024 10:03 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Get my tires rotated? Uh, pretty sure they rotate while I'm driving but thanks.
←Rate | 05-31-2024 05:46 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to quit my job and travel the world until I run out of money. I should be back home later tonight.
←Rate | 08-19-2024 05:41 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people exercise every day. I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.
←Rate | 09-08-2024 09:19 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop trying to please people who don't like you and embrace the joy of being the most annoying person they've ever met.
←Rate | 09-19-2024 05:37 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who worry about what kind of planet we're leaving for our kids might want to consider what kind of kids we're leaving for our planet.
←Rate | 09-20-2024 05:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just been for a job interview and the boss said, "Starting pay is $11.59 but after 6 months it goes up to $18.41. When do you want to start?" I said, "In 6 months!"
←Rate | 08-18-2024 05:57 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon My body knows how old I am, but my mind refuses to believe it.
←Rate | 06-13-2024 05:45 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever came up with the phrase "The freaks come out at night" has clearly never been to Walmart during the day.
←Rate | 07-12-2024 08:41 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a scary movie that's gonna make me paranoid for the rest of my life.
←Rate | 08-25-2024 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things I hate: Gross pay - $2,257. Net pay - $1,138.
←Rate | 08-23-2024 06:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do I do all day long? Sometimes, it takes me all day to get nothing done.
←Rate | 08-21-2024 08:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst thing to step on in the dark is someone else's foot when you live alone.
←Rate | 09-15-2024 06:43 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




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