CzovCzov Funny Status Messages
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I can tell by the way you give me instructions that you've dealt with a lot of dumb people before me.
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08-22-2012 09:17 by Czovczov
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If you love someone, set them free. If they come back knocking on your door with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea.
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10-10-2012 13:59 by Czovczov
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I hate how my friends are always trying to convince me to do extreme activities. Like bungee jumping, skydiving or leaving the house.
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03-07-2013 12:44 by Czovczov
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I was trying to make a sandwich. But I'm all out of vodka.
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01-05-2013 13:55 by Czovczov
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If someone doesn't stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it's totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
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05-13-2012 08:33 by Czovczov
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Just heard someone on the porch, hopefully this is just a home invasion and not some unexpected company
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12-16-2015 08:25 by Czovczov
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The only way your world is ending on the 21st is if you get married that day.
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12-19-2012 00:36 by Czovczov
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It's no coincidence that you have never seen a hunger strike for the legalization of marijuana.
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09-30-2012 08:03 by Czovczov
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If I haven't offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It's in there.
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01-24-2015 13:10 by Czovczov
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Before I could even offer a plea bargain, the judge pronounced us man and wife.
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04-23-2013 13:12 by Czovczov
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My iPhone just auto-corrected "I will be home shortly" to "I wish I was single"
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01-22-2012 15:14 by Czovczov
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If you are so sensitive that I can't joke around without risking offending you and I have to watch every word I say, in case you might misinterpret it, then we can't be friends.
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01-28-2015 01:09 by Czovczov
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I just read that Kim K is taking some "time off work be with her daughter" but she doesn't have a job so now I'm confused
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11-05-2014 13:01 by Czovczov
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If your breath isn't flammable, you're not an alcoholic.
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01-23-2012 13:19 by Czovczov
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So its safe to assume Kanye & Khadarshian's baby will have a huge butt and a huge mouth?
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12-31-2012 11:54 by Czovczov
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To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.
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02-11-2013 13:11 by Czovczov
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People who describe things as "better than sex" are obviously having the wrong kind of sex.
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04-01-2012 10:13 by Czovczov
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The other idiots at the interview didn't stand a chance, I wore 4 ties.
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01-23-2014 12:27 by Czovczov
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Diamonds are women's best friends. Little shiny rocks are their best friends. This is the kind of crazy men have to deal with.
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04-08-2013 00:53 by Czovczov
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Girls; Don't kill yourself over a boy. He'll just bring another girl to your funeral.
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10-09-2012 13:16 by Czovczov
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