Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The imbecile underneath this couldn't come up with a clever retort, so he stood on my shoulders and a f00l of himself in the process.

   Octopuses originated in Scotland. They came from bagpipes.

   I am content to see the end of what was the empire called the US of A. Every empire comes to an end, typically at the hands of the insane from within. The US of A had its time. It's now time to end it.

   ScaryKoenig and his mum. Took turns licking grandpa's bum. When they're done with all their fun. Gary licks his grandmum's c~m.

   The jig is up. A double entendre meaning the niqqer is se#ually aroused.

   I WENT AND PUT MY SYMPTOMS ON WEB MD. TURN OUT I HAVE GARY BUSEY DISEASE .

   One more! Walmart just took a dump all over the M*G* losers by announcing over $6 billion in investments in Mexico this year — despite Trump's promise that his tariffs would force companies back to the US. Hardy har har har 😂

   Pikachu puked all over my grandmother

   wow, TᕼE ᗩᖇT Oᖴ TᕼE ᗪEᗩᒪ

   Not funny... We sprung forward so hard we are back in winter!

   Bike week is near. Vrooom.

   Walmart Mexico is investing 6 billion in Mexico. The USA has nothing to do with it other than making a profit off of Walmart Mexico.

   I had a nightmare about Peppa Pig. The dad told his family that he got a new job with Oscar Mayer Bacon. 🥓🥓

   Lesbians are

   You can walk around Walmart and eat grapes and nobody bothers you, but as soon as you eat a rotisserie chicken, here comes security.

   It must be tough being born on April Fools' Day. You're never quite sure if people really mean it when they wish you 'Happy Birthday'.

   Like I said before: Newsflash, I'm not going anywhere. In fact, the more ignorant you get, the stronger I get. So it doesn't do you any good to keep trying to attack me.

   OF COURSE HE TWEETS AT 3 A.M. THAT'S 11 A.M. HERE IN MOSCOW, WHERE HE GETS HIS ORDERS FROM. Good dog.

   Proof that masculinity is becoming a lost attribute: Hooters files bankruptcy.

   How to distinguish 'crat women from 'publican. If they're disgusting, they're 'crat women. Thank you, and enjoy the buffet.