Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   It's so hot, the late Jack Kevorkian's suicide machine was turned into a Slurpee machine...

   If you buy all your horse tack from Amazon is it considered a Mail-Order Bridle?

   If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine's Day I'd put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink or dessert. Then I'd sit back and watch the madness unfold at every table.

   Then of course there's the jury of HIS peers, finding him liable for sexually abusing advice columnist E. Jean Carroll in 1996. Can't forget about that one. Then of course, there's him being the worst "president" in the history of the United States....

   It's a tie in the race for the world's biggest whackoffs between the Dum-o-Crat and GaryKoenig

   Ummm, "world's" not "world's. You forgot the second quotation mark. Nice attempt though.

   M^G^ losers are going to be so broke after these tariffs kick in they're gonna have to start renting the libs instead of owning them. Ya'll must be worried about those trailer park rents as well 🤭

   The clitoris has 1000 nerve endings. And it's still not as sensitive as the cuck here who apparently feels extremely threatened by Canada 😂

   The reason gas prices have fallen is not positive. Oil prices and Treasury yields fell because there are concerns about economic growth going forward. If a person knew the first thing about economics, they would understand this, moron.

   I stand with China. 🇨🇳 The US facked around and now they're gonna find out.

   Why do you people reply and engage in petty name calling with these anti Trumpers? You are in charge for at least the next 3 1/2 years. Enjoy it!!! Take joy in the fact that they wake up miserable every day. Don’t engage.

   "I'll take 2 electronics over easy with a side of home fries, bacon, and pancakes, please." China thanks you 🇨🇳

   There's no "might" about not liking Koenig's posts. They're played, sophomoric, and not funny. Not as bad as the one's on page 1 though. They simply $u<k.

   "Go away kid ya bother me"

   Take a moment and collect your thoughts. You almost have a full set.

   Way more fun being in my 20s in the 70s than in my 70s in the 20s

   What's aciaemA?

   My parents never actually listened to me as a kid. I recall a solar eclipse one year. "Hey ma, can I go outside and watch the eclipse?" "Yeah, but don't get too close."

   Getting married is like going to the restaurant. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that...

   Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze.