abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'abbybaby34': View All Messages
Page: 6 of 9
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I wish the camera would add ten pounds to my bank account
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Don't get me wrong. I totally hear what you're saying...I just don't care.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a bat.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
It's official I've finally been over notified.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I FINALLY found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
The way some people find fault, you'd think there was some kind of reward.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Look, I know you have your "swag on" but can you walk a little bit faster?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
When you find someone who finally understands you, the world will go away.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I just got an email asking me if I wanted to "be larger so I could please my lady." Heck no! She's the one who put me on this diet to begin with!
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Did I un-jam the copier? Yes. Does that make me a hero? Not for me to say. But probably.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
When people ask "do you believe in aliens?", I just say "have you seen Lady Gaga?"
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Life's best lessons are learned at the worst times.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I hate you cheetos . You ruined all my good jeans .
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I don't have an attitude problem. I have an attitude that you have a problem with. Therefore, I just have an attitude!
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I found the key to success...however, I found a note from success's landlord saying that the locks have been changed.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
My phone used to say things like "3 missed calls" and now it says things like "nobody even thought about calling you."
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Damn!! My internet is running slower than a turtle with 3 broken legs and a massive head injuty--doesn't it know that I am a FB addict?
[Search Results] [View All Messages]