Yaj Funny Status Messages

   Walking thru a spider web instantly turns you into a ninja

   It's only October 17th and I'm already sick of seeing anything regarding black friday .. seriously people have you no respect?? its african-american friday, dammit!

   My first thoughts after hearing that Richard Dawson died were ... again?

   sometimes feels like going up to people who have just been seated at a restaraunt and say "Just to let you know, the last person that sat here threw up on the table"...

   My girlfriend called me a pedophile! I was shocked! That's such a big word for a 5 year old

   wondering if he's the only one who thinks the lady who got attacked by a chimp and showed her face on Oprah looks like a teenage mutant ninja turtle

   Apparently punching an alien looking thing in the face and saying "Welcome to Earth" isn't acceptable on a newborn baby

   It was nice to see Rose from the Titanic do the coin toss..

   It seems as if I come across the most scary spiders while I'm in the bathroom. For that, I am somewhat grateful

   "Hi Kids! Wanna see how I lost all this weight playing hide the salami? And you might get to see my footlong!!! (which is actually 11")

   I wear a mask. I'm vaccinated. You other inbreds our there in the midwest driving around your pickup trucks with 3 teeth and a mullet can contract the virus, spread it to your family and have the whole lot of them cease to breathe.

   My favorite bible verse is Lunch 12:45