huck Funny Status Messages
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Men who don't understand why their woman is mad at them need to realize the woman doesn't know why either.
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09-24-2012 06:29 by Huck
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I just saw a guy with a hook hand and a ponytail. Dude, you cut off the wrong thing.
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07-17-2013 12:20 by Huck
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It's weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
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04-26-2015 08:06 by huck
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Got up at 6am. Did yoga. Had a protein shake. Ran six miles. Started lying about everything.
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08-31-2012 06:30 by Huck
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If you live by the sword, I guess that's pretty cool. I live by some trees and other houses
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12-30-2012 08:19 by Huck
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Kids are more sensitive to bullying these days because they never grew up dealing with the dog from Duck Hunt.
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05-26-2013 08:04 by Huck
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My ideal job would be "guy in infomercial who is legitimately baffled by simple, everyday tasks"
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09-13-2014 10:41 by Huck
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When I get to heaven I hope I don't hear the words, "Just a formality before we let you in, gonna take a look at your Facebook timeline."
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02-09-2014 08:42 by Huck
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Why is it "romantic" when Aladdin sings A Whole New World while flying on a carpet but "pathetic" when I sing it while laying on a bath mat?
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02-18-2014 07:25 by Huck
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I spend 90% of my time at the gym choosing the right song for my workout.
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07-10-2012 09:44 by Huck
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In a bizarre turn of events, erectile dysfunction cases are on the rise.
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08-10-2012 08:51 by Huck
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Holding a baby is a great excuse to just openly pass gas without anyone knowing.
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10-06-2012 08:08 by Huck
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People who work in retail: How do you do it??? I am merely a humble line participant, and I want to choke everyone around me.
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05-06-2013 06:20 by Huck
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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don't want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
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05-12-2015 05:07 by huck
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Beauty and the Beast is my favorite story that teaches kids that if you're ugly, hold a girl against her will & she'll eventually love you.
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07-15-2012 06:03 by Huck
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They say you will eat around 23 spiders in your life, but really you can eat as many as you want. Treat yourself, you deserve it.
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03-09-2014 07:30 by Huck
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For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I'm on a 'secure line'
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11-07-2013 20:31 by huck
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Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
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04-17-2014 06:06 by Huck
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They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say, "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd
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10-07-2012 08:56 by Huck
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After you kill somebody with kindness, is there a way to "discreetly dispose of the body with kindness"?
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10-21-2012 08:08 by Huck
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