CzovCzov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When you die and God asks what you did with your life, try not to say, "Didn't you read my tweets and Facebook updates?"
←Rate | 03-07-2012 12:44 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies: Trust me, nice guys are all around you, it's just that the a$$holes are blockin your view.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 00:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My resume is just a piece of paper that says "Please don't Google me."
←Rate | 01-02-2015 12:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your wife.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 11:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped.
←Rate | 04-08-2014 01:38 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at my most relaxed around dogs and prescription drugs.
←Rate | 04-07-2015 00:31 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My safe word is yourhusbandishome.
←Rate | 09-24-2015 10:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a big advocate of the 'You started it' method of defense in an argument.
←Rate | 11-06-2015 00:58 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talk to your kids about drugs. Always stay informed about what drug is cool. You don't wanna be a nerd parent.
←Rate | 06-27-2015 11:58 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at "this is a bad idea"
←Rate | 06-27-2015 12:10 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It wasn't weird until you expected me to act normal.
←Rate | 05-21-2014 13:16 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
←Rate | 02-01-2014 14:23 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My brain will dispose of you in a split second, my heart on the other hand will hold on like a hoarder.
←Rate | 11-07-2012 13:39 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear God, when I said six figure salary, I didn't mean only zeros.
←Rate | 07-25-2012 14:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's important to keep your relationship fresh. So, always look for creative new ways to get even.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 10:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to "Widowed", it's time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
←Rate | 03-20-2013 14:30 by Czovczov Comments (1)  


   messageicon Lady, you were funny and interesting up about until that time you started talking about your boyfriend.
←Rate | 07-05-2013 01:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to talk to a girl without staring at her boobs is like trying to poop without peeing.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 12:24 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
←Rate | 07-02-2015 14:55 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s nice how your Selfies accentuate your instability.
←Rate | 11-01-2015 09:17 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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