Yaj Funny Status Messages

   wondering what ever happened to the hole in the ozone layer, did global warming heat it shut?

   an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.

   Everybody's got their own aIcohol they won't ever touch again because of an awful teenage experience

   thinks 'friends with benefits' should came with a health care package..

   Peeing after holding it in for over an hour is one of the best feelings that isn't taxed or illegal..

   I'm surprised nobody ever complained that the grape dude in the Fruit of the Loom commercials is black

   says change your birthday on facebook to todays date, and see how many of your "friends" are totally clueless

   Joan Rivers doesnt look a day over $225,000

   If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut.

   I love meeting new people until they say something stupid. Most of my friendships last about 3 minutes.

   going to get a tattoo that says "Live Without Regrets", and have it spelled wrong.

   I didn't realize the AIDS epidemic was so bad, they say one in every two and a half men have it

   wondering if anybody ever won the lottery playing the lucky numbers in fortune cookies

   BREAKING NEWS: Florida 1st state of the union to legalize murder..

   I am "I remember when Saturday Night Live Was Funny" years old.

   In Mother Russia, we don't shoot for the stars, the stars shoot for us

   regrets to inform you that due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

   Wanna feel old? This years high school graduating class was born in 1995.

   Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money

   Live once. Regret nothing. Rewrite destiny.. nothing is written in stone. Nothing. Love your life the way you need to, not the way your told too.