Moon Funny Status Messages

   To all my friends having a identity crisis, I love you, and you know who you are, I think?

   I have all the world's knowledge at the very tips of my fingers where I can find the answers to life's most perplexing questions! and here I am googleing What did Oscar the Grouch do if he overslept on trash day?

   These post apocalyptic movies are just not factual. I mean how can everyone be wearing leather when there are no cows?

   If you touch your phone in the right places a hot pizza will arrive at your door!

   Sometimes there's a very thin line between "I should share this on Facebook with all my friends" and "I might want to seek private professional help for this"

   If the world was flat like some people say my girlfriend's cat would have pushed me off the edge years ago.

   To all 6 of you who like the jokes I post, I do it all for you!

   Just discovered that spilling hot coffee in your lap wakes you up faster then drinking it.

   If your single and starting to feel a little blue about the coming Valentines day to make you feel better just remember that Saint Valentine was imprisoned then beaten to death with a club and candy and cakes will be 50% off the day after 😊

   Love how I can remember the lyrics to just about any song written in the 70s but can't remember where I laid my car keys down last night?

   Dear Mark Zuckerberg, All I want for Christmas this year is fonts.

   I think those status updates that's say copy and paste this status so I'll know who's reading my status are stupid. Copy and paste this status if you agree.

   I thought the internet was originally created to save time. So what happened?

   Whenever I see someone I don't know wearing what look like pajamas in public I always wonder, have they completely given up on life or are they living it to the fullest!?

   The best sign of a happy loving relationship between two people on Valentine's Day is no sign of it all on Facebook.

   It's not always the one that got away that troubles me the most, as sometimes it's the one that won't go away.

   So I now have 921 friends on my friends list and I just wanted to let you know that you are all awesome people and I love each and everyone of you!!! <3 Except #631

   If where you live doesn't have numbers on it you really need to address that.

   Who remembers when "Never before my coffee" used to be called social distancing?

   Just want to wish all my single friends out there a very happy Independence Day!