doc noland Funny Status Messages

   My right eye has been twitching for the past hour. Is this what it's like to have a hobby?

   Glad Doc Brown no longer needs plutonium for his flux capacitor, ‘cause the Libyans are to busy having a party.

   Shout out to most of the Thundercats.

   Wanna feel like a female porn star? Aggressively open a Yoplait under your nose.

   I've learned that fights can always be avoided with a slow kiss of the forehead.

   Im a wreck to be forcened with.

   Because it's Monday, I'll go ahead and tell you what the funniest thing is the world is: A fat guy falling down his last 3 stairs, while farting. Glad no one was here.

   "I don't want anyone to know I'm the one who said this" - Anonymous

   get to drilling Bruce Willis.

   If they were to make a porn on my life, It would be fully clothed people apologizing to each other.

   East Tennesseans collectively saying, "Umm so what are we supposed to do with all of these Colts jerseys and t-shirts?"

   I know I overdo goodbyes to the Ladies. They dont all have to end in a slow dance to "Careless Whisper".

   what started out as a joke, ended up me sleeping on the stairs for 2 hours.

   I wish I was cool enough to post pictures of my food on Facebook

   If we make a baby, I want his or her name to remind us of that magic night - besides, how many other Doggystyle Rumplemintz Daniels can there be?

   When I think of you, I dont think of tomrow, I think of forever.

   I just put my left hand in the friend zone

   knows if you like drunk girls in high heels, you may also be attracted to newborn ponies

   Most elderly women look like they put their lipstick on with their feet.

   I miss 1999. Ya know, when we all used to do it for the Nookie...