doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Drunk sex is ok, but drunk hugs are frantastic
←Rate | 05-24-2011 16:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian says her divorce was like beating cancer. In archived footage, Kim can be seen beating and blowing a 12 inch cancer.
←Rate | 09-10-2012 16:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Yorkers could probably bail that water out a lot faster if they weren't limited to using 16 oz cups huh Bloomberg? BABOOM! *drops micc
←Rate | 10-29-2012 23:56 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I was trying to get this hot girl at the bar jealous. I was slow dancing & making out with a potted plant. It was working, she was staring at me
←Rate | 03-03-2012 12:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinking of starting a male version of the Red Hat Society. Come be a Purple Helmet with me, guys!
←Rate | 05-15-2014 23:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is kinda messed up.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 00:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman is like a wine: the less classy, the more you can see its box
←Rate | 04-24-2012 15:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes the fact that bacon exists is enough.
←Rate | 03-02-2014 15:08 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like falling in love with a sociopath to make you question your judgement.
←Rate | 01-02-2012 23:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I'd like to yell, "You're a f#%$ing disgrace!" without feeling like a hypocrite.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 16:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trains do a pretty good job of letting you know they're still 7 miles away.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 14:07 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, Can we talk about this? I'm so sick and tired being on that list. I'm just having fun.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 06:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just made up my own personal yoga pose called "Downward Life Spiral".
←Rate | 04-15-2013 13:36 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am in no way, shape or form mature enough to read the headline, "Prince William Saves Seamen."
←Rate | 12-02-2011 02:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Missed Connection: You were standing at the RedBox. I was in my car self pleasuring. I accidentally honked like 8 times.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 18:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all the things I pictured happening to me today, accidentally giving myself a facial while m@turb@ting was no where on that list.
←Rate | 05-09-2012 17:51 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm confused...someone just said the disco queen died, but John Travolta appears to still be alive.
←Rate | 05-17-2012 23:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pollen? Web MD says I have Funky Cold Medina.
←Rate | 04-15-2013 13:37 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon How am I supposed to completely ignore Olympic wrestling like it doesn't exist, if it actually doesn't exist?!
←Rate | 02-12-2013 23:22 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't shenaniganned in about six years. I've hooliganned, I've no-good-nicked, I've ne'er-done-well, just yesterday I found myself rabble-rousing... but yup, its time to Shenanagin again.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 17:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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