doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just found out that the girl from the Blind Melon video grew up to be Jonah Hill.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 23:40 by Doc Noland Comments (1)  


   messageicon My couple friends just keep me around so that when they fight they can refer to me to remind them how awful & lonely it is to be single.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 17:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News: The National Weather Center has issued a tornado warning for Chattanooga TN. For your own safety head to Neyland Stadium in Knoxville, they're not worried about a touchdown there.......
←Rate | 10-27-2010 12:44 by doc Noland Comments (1)  


   messageicon Put my thing down, flipped it and reversed it. Now its inside out. Send help.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 11:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The inventor of Doritos is dead. Somewhere, the inventor of Bugles is playing "Taps."
←Rate | 10-05-2011 00:03 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Slipping a tasteful nude photo into my work file... couldn't hurt at this point.
←Rate | 10-16-2013 20:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Excuse me... Tell me more about this mythical corner, around which fudge is made.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 18:12 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have said it before and I will say it again. IT
←Rate | 08-22-2011 18:21 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am terrible at making comparisons. I guess I'm alot like a taco that way.
←Rate | 02-06-2013 10:57 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Melissa Etheridge is single, with four kids by two different chicks. Sounds like someone is ready for the NBA.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 20:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are flies always rubbing their hands together? What are you up to? ANSWER ME INSECT
←Rate | 04-07-2014 23:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how quickly a MILF becomes a MILL (Mom I'd Like to Leave)
←Rate | 12-26-2011 23:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's fascinating that a creature can begin as a caterpillar and end as a stepped-on caterpillar
←Rate | 10-21-2011 19:52 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when you finally fall in love & your girlfriend's all "Who are you? Put down my dog. I'm calling the police."
←Rate | 10-04-2011 01:56 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin said, "Polls are for strippers." Cute. Guess what Grandma? Birth control pills are for teenagers.
←Rate | 09-07-2011 01:04 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kourtney Kardashian's pregnant. Which is awesome, because I was just starting to think that there aren't NEARLY enough Kardashians
←Rate | 12-02-2011 01:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon On my tombstone please write: more people not appreciating my puns and updates when I was alive was a grave mistake.
←Rate | 05-15-2014 23:03 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im alittle experimental tonight and I tell ya, I tried on a Trojan Magnum...its really hard to breathe in those things.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 01:35 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cant, made plans to have insomnia again tonight.
←Rate | 06-15-2016 09:29 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Black Lady on the Pine-Sol commercial told me to disinfect the thing I touch the most... ...this is going to sting a bit.
←Rate | 04-08-2014 22:21 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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