Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

   My Panic Room is every room I walk into where there's people.

   Never cut off the minivans, they have nothing to live for.

   I'm so hungry I could eat a whole bottle of whiskey

   Game of Thrones, at its core, has always been a show about how much it sucks to be a horse

   I really dont understand why I’m still a virgin when I have never watched any Twilight Movie or bought any Justin Bieber Album in my whole life.

   Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.

   Don't tell me what type of pill it is. I like to be surprised.

   All of my best ideas involve jail time.

   Life sucks, But sometimes you get to have sex, And sometimes you get to drink beer.

   Pants are for people with something to hide.

   The problem with the general public is that it's made up of people.

   Judging by these FB & T witter quotes attributed to her, Marilyn Monroe sure got smart four decades after she died.

   My name is Brian but my friends call me when they need a favour.

   The whole idea of a drug free workplace is funny, isn't it? I mean the workplace is why I need drugs in the first place.

   If it requires pants, its not happening today.

   If by exercise you mean grabbing my phone out of my pocket every two minutes then yes I exercise a lot.

   Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.

   If you love someone, make them guess how you feel about them until they get tired and move on to someone else.

   You women are beautiful creatures I love you all , but by god you scare the sh*t out of me with the way you feed on souls and happiness.

   The more complicated the coffee order the more complicated the person.