doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon its enough gravy when my plate looks like an infinty pool
←Rate | 05-25-2012 20:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes instead of poking you, I just press my finger against your profile pic and do that little coochie coo motion and whisper "girlfriend".
←Rate | 11-28-2012 16:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing better than imagining "Tubman's" raining down on strippers cheeks.
←Rate | 04-20-2016 14:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most surprising thing about yesterday's 16-hour NBA talks: It was only 2 hours of talks, and 14 hours of "Y'all Ready for This?
←Rate | 10-21-2011 01:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tell ya what, I bought a toilet brush a couple weeks back, and I'll never go back to paper.
←Rate | 10-23-2012 09:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say that you chew ice cubes when your sexually frustrated: Related News, I am responsible for the shrinking Ice caps.
←Rate | 08-26-2011 14:04 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up today singing, "It's the 4th of July," to the tune of "It's the First of the Month," by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 16:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dryer lint sure does smell a lot better than it tastes.
←Rate | 12-27-2011 13:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last time I tried to just "be myself" I almost got submitted to a Mental Institute.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 19:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'tipsy' is not in my vocabulary... It's 'drunk' or 'sober'.
←Rate | 03-17-2014 20:03 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 14:42 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm too tired to order anything for dinner so I guess I'll starve
←Rate | 07-16-2017 22:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would say "I hope your well", but that would be a lie
←Rate | 06-15-2016 09:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The new twenty dollar bill will feature a clever line drawing of Harriet Tubman using the men's room.
←Rate | 04-23-2016 21:12 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing fuels my alcoholism more than listening to friends talk about their pets as if they were children.
←Rate | 10-10-2011 01:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, I say weird things during intercourse, like "I love you" and/or "Please look directly into the camera and say you have agreed to this."
←Rate | 05-26-2012 11:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon hey Ladies...I just noticed that I stick my tongue out in concentration when I wipe my butt. It's pretty adorable... still single
←Rate | 09-05-2011 17:57 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snooki is going to give birth to a giant Nutter Butter.
←Rate | 03-31-2012 17:38 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar
←Rate | 02-19-2014 21:00 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Zombie Apocalypse? I'd like to give those Zombies a piece of my mind..
←Rate | 06-02-2012 13:10 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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