doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon happy P.O.E.T.S. Day, everyone! Piss On Everything Tommrows Saturday.
←Rate | 11-12-2010 09:19 by Doc Noland Comments (2)  


   messageicon I could stand to lose a few pounds, so I'm cutting out my oversized heart. It has done me no favors anyway.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 11:00 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're homophobic, it's important to remember that they're more afraid of you than you are of them
←Rate | 09-01-2011 14:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I an a55hole because the cruise ship thing doesn't seem like a big deal? I mean, there's some rocks RIGHT THERE!
←Rate | 01-18-2012 23:09 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon You haven't lived until you've passed through a birth canal.
←Rate | 05-29-2011 09:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a woman compliments me on my looks, I assume she's ovulating or something.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 22:19 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know its early, but I wanna sneak off to the bar
←Rate | 09-26-2012 08:37 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon A nice name for a girl would be Regrette.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:38 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your boyfriend wears a gold necklace outside of his tshirt both of you will be asked to get out of your car by the police at gunpoint some day
←Rate | 03-02-2017 06:11 by Doc Noland Comments (1)  


   messageicon The trick is to not let people know how weird you really are until its too late for em to back out
←Rate | 12-21-2014 21:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon wasn't Fellatio one of the Three Musketeers?
←Rate | 09-26-2012 08:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My signature move has been foiled by carpal tunnel and tennis elbow.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 08:59 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, Violets are blue, What I ate on Fat Tuesday, Gave me Diabetes Type 2.
←Rate | 03-01-2017 08:36 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hangovers like this that make me wish I had a Life Alert.
←Rate | 06-09-2012 13:46 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"
←Rate | 03-02-2014 15:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your yoga pants just say OUTSTRETCHED.
←Rate | 04-30-2014 18:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon noticed that while someone is speaking to him, 80% of his inner dialouge is wondering if his face looks interested
←Rate | 04-29-2011 13:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was never insane except that temporary moment when my heart was exposed.
←Rate | 02-27-2017 12:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon We didn't have presidential candidates like this back when people could smoke at their desks.
←Rate | 07-07-2016 22:13 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon We get MLK Day off but not Good Friday...Dying for a dream trumps dying for our sins!
←Rate | 04-06-2012 10:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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