Tsparks Funny Status Messages

   "I'm a Barbie Girl, In the Barbie world!! Life in plasic, Its fantastic".....admit it you read this with an annoying womens voice

   Sometimes the Birthday reminders on facebook remind me of the friends.i need to delete

   Do you know that feeling when you have a lot of work to do and you dont know where to start? Thats why I'm on Facebook

   if you want to know anything, come over to my house...i have a kid that apparently knows everything

   I read an article the other day that said "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic" thank god I only drink every night!!

   You this read wrong

   Mondays aren't so bad....its my job that sucks a**

   When I cross a one way road, I still look both sides... . . Just in case there are any women driving

   Smoking doesnt kill people...People who are trying to quit smoking kill people

   I'm one of those people that tried this at home

   I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days

   was planning to do something today, but I havent finished doing nothing from yesterday

   Here's the deal. I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

   getting to work on time only makes the day longer

   I love how people always say they hate drama, yet they're constantly posting their drama on Facebook!

   two guys walk into a bar..i was one of them. I dont remember anything else

   Lost my Droid for an hour. The day I lost my daughter at the zoo is now the second most terrifying experience of my life

   I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks

   Lite: the new way to spell "light" now with 20% fewer letters

   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments