Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.

   Please lower gas prices, I’m not built for onlyfans

   getting married and then Divorced is like a Casino.... ..you go in all excited and optimistic, you stumble out broke, drunk and talking to yourself.

   There have been a lot of snake sightings. You might also check in your phone contacts as well...

   Good night, everybody. Night sweats, no... sweet dreams. That's it... sweet dreams.

   GaryKoenig and Canuck have the blues. They blue each other.

   Canuck likes fried hockey boogie.

   Canuck gives skull to GaryKoenig

   Canuck is a blowboy

   Canuck corn holed Biden

   You've heard the term 'stolen valor'... GaryKoenig has 'stolen humor.'

   Hundreds of thousands of people will protest tomorrow in 1,100 cities in all 50 states. Can't wait to watch from the comfort and safety of our awesome country 🥳

   Oh come on now. That pillowcase one was hilarious. You miserable, chinless cucks need to cheer up! 🤣

   He always bragged about his "large" crowds. Almost 5 million people turned out today across your sh*thole country. He finally has those great numbers he always wanted!!!!! I wonder how many of those people voted for him? HAHA

   You seem to be very well educated on the stuff you make up.

   DON'T TOUC- my tax dollars, which were not intended for your pet projects and the corrupt, virtue-signaling Socialists who spew the garbage you all take as gospel. It’s not a slush fund and a money laundering operation through left-wing NGO's to make po

   Yes, it's great to be a Flordia Gator!

   Yes, it's great to be a Florida Gator!

   Writing your posts backwards because your looking at your phone upside down while bent over the back of the couch getting 🦴'd by your Can*ck neighbours Siber*an husky

   It's like talking to a brain damaged parrot.