Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A cult doesn't have 77 Million People. That's a revolution. A cult has a few thousand people with blue hair and random pronouns.

   We should have a national quiet day where everyone just shuts up for 24 hours.

   Yeah, yeah. I've heard of Bad Bunny. He snuck out of the rabbit hutch, broke into the hen house, and fu*ked all the chickens.

   How is January this week, next month, &’ next year

   Trump’s use of executive order to reinstate TikTok is nothing less than an abuse of power. Executive orders should be used judiciously.

   Some days I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots. Other days I realize it's not just some days.

   "The Greek Freak forgot the recipe to success. You run team to team chasing championships." Lebron James

   A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat

   Moved the bed for the first time in years and found 47 hair ties, a toy steak, and the lost city of atlantis

   May you all have a prosperous New Year in 2023. (I may need to borrow some money)

   A baby was born laughing really hard with it’s fists closed! The confused Doctor unfolded it’s tiny fingers, & found a birth control pill.

   Do you know why the call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

   Instagram. The wonderful world of women with daddy issues and father figure complexes.

   If the president-elect (Donald Trump) wants Canada as the 51st state, we’ll send him a box of Snow, Poutine, and Free Speech to remind him we’re better off up north.

   The Batcave was 14 miles outside of Gotham City. Close enough for Batman to fight crime, far enough away for Bruce Wayne to avoid ridiculous tax rates.

   Marriage tip: If your wife comes home in a bad mood and starts an argument for no reason like she does from time to time, just use this simple phrase: "My mom was right about you". This usually does the trick and stops the argument.

   Where are the water cannon trucks? Give them turds a flush.

   Has Missouri ever done a tourism ad with the slogan ‘Missouri Loves Company?’ If not, what is even the point of Missouri?

   Mike Hunt is Tight and Juicy

   I've decided my 2025 will start on February 1st. January is a free trial month.