Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I accidentally ate the sticker on an apple. The scan code is inside me and there's now a beep every time I check out at the grocery store.

   Prophecy class canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.

   Likes his own stuff and not funny

   Transginger. I don't have red hair, But I'll think could rock it.

   That first kiss in the morning is so special, and my dog enjoys it too.

   Terraria has awoken

   TITAN? More like TiN cAN. RIP Explorers

   Reached that age where everything I think happened 4-5 years ago really happened in 2003.

   Site owner STILL Sucks the Big One !

   Somethings in life I’ll never understand, like how there could be a group on Facebook called Facebookers Anonymous, thats like walking into an open bar where their holding an AA meeting.

   I just figured out who you are. You're not from Illinois. You're from Indiana! You're the fat M^G^ loser who pulled the gun at the protest yesterday! It's all over the news! Is that why you're so upset all the time? Because of your three stomachs?

   "Navarro is truly a moron. What he says here is demonstrably false." Elon Musk one hour ago. Navarro is the key White House trade advisor advocating for the tariffs. F^GA all turning on each other. It's f*cking hilarious 😂

   Do they have a pregnancy test for immaculate conceptions?

   Welcome to your fifties. Now your eyebrows grow from your left shoulder.

   "90% of Japanese cars are made in Japan." Before being called back to from the stage after forgetting to actually sign the document. Donald Tr🤡mp (Stable Genius) April 2nd, 2025

   "We will sign a new trade agreement with the European Union and work to further diversify our trade to other ex-U.S. Partners." Mexico President Claudia Sheinbaum. Atta girl 🇲🇽

   Mortgage rates are dropping. Thanks, President T.

   Since the 1970s, at least 26 women have publicly accused him of r*pe, kissing, and groping without consent; looking under women's skirts; and walking in on naked teenage pageant contestants. Then of course, there's 13 year old Katie Johnson.....

   SO many M^GA guys have beards. To hide that weak-assed jawless slope of a chin. Must take them 20 minutes to put on a f*cking pillow case 😂

   Question - is being a sexual deviant, pervert and a criminal a REQUIREMENT for joining M^GA? Look up Jonathan Braun. Yet another one of DT's buddies whose sentence he commuted, who has been rearrested for numerous assaults and crimes against children.