Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm amazed at how some people tend to overthink things without actually being in possession of a brain.

   This is my impression of Beyoncé if she was a carnie: “If you liked it then you should’ve tossed a ring on it.”

   People everywhere are now referring to Pete Hegseth as “WhiskeyLeaks” and we're kinda mad that we didn’t think of it first.

   You can post jokes by successful comedians here, yet you get some los€r flaming the t¿umbs d○wn tab a hundred times. The sorriest s¡t€ on the internet.

   I'll never understand people saying "Rest In Peace" when someone dies. Of course they're resting in peace. They're dead.

   Marriage tip: If your wife says she's only getting two things at the store, don't believe her. She's lying!

   "TRUMP WAS HANDED AN AWESOME ECONOMY. THE BEST, BY FAR, POST-COVID ECONOMY OF ANY INDUSTRIALIZED NATION. HE WAS HANDED AN ECONOMY WITH EMPLOYMENT WAY UP, CONSUMER SPENDING WAY UP, THE MARKETS WAY UP, AND INFLATION WAY DOWN. And in seven weeks ruined i

   BREAKING NEWS JD and Usha Vance trip to Greenland canceled after US officials couldn't find a single resident who wanted to greet them BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

   We enjoy mocking you. A bunch of lemmings running headlong towards the cliff. The product of yiur idiot leaders dismantling education by creating a generation of complete and utter imbeciles.

   I'm very angry because I wasn't wearing my glasses at the store and I bought curry powder instead of the saffron I needed. I'll make use of it; I'm just mad about saffron.

   I used to have a crush on Ana Kournikova but love means nothing to her

   Local cover bands who think they're "it"... Drive 100 miles somewhere away from town and walk into any store or restaurant. I guarantee no one will recognize you.

   Of all the things that taste like chicken, it's weird that eggs aren't one of them.

   Omg r*t*rdlicans think the D*GE cuts are lowering their taxes! lmfaoooo

   Here's a pacifier for you. Don't forget to take it with you when you leave the country!

   It's so cold outside, I saw a guy in the ghetto pull his pants up.

   It's so hot around the barn that the barnyard pimp won't even come out and check on his little chicks.

   The problem with autocorrect is that it often makes me say things I didn't Nintendo.

   Dat no funny I dontt get it I hit tumb down a lot becauthe I hav down sindroam

   a few more minutes mom