Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   This administration is going to be looked at as the worst administration in the history of the United States. The entire country is being laughed at, and it's become a complete embarrassment

   The weakest, dumbest, most pathetic coward to ever sit behind that desk. He's a joke. And I piss on him.

   Give a 👎 if you're ok with Tr*mp and El*n r*ping more women.

   JD Vance flew to Greenland to the U.S. military base. He spent just 3 hours there. Then flew home with his tail between his legs, humiliated. All other plans to attend events in Greenland over 3 days were cancelled because there was no interest LOL!

   Today is the first day of Spring. That means I can be over with my Seasonal Depression and go back to my Regular Depression.

   My favourite part of Football is when they feed the players water like they’re Hamsters

   Welcome to your 60’s, you can no longer outrun Mall Security.

   I can't berieve the plice of Peking Duck!

   Companies need to stop making employees feel guilty for taking vacation days and time off just because they failed to hire a sufficient amount of people.

   "Who's taking you home on New Years?" State troopers, probably

   TikTok this. Good riddance.

   I just heard that a cold shower eases depression. I was fine with it... until I looked down.

   This year, he inherited one of the strongest economies in history with the lowest unemployment rate in 50 years, the inflation rate at 2%, and the stock market increased by 48%. And destroyed it in 30 days. GLORIOUS!

   I’d like to be the first to wish you all a very merry Christmas

   Jimmy Carter attributes peanuts, rampant inflation, and his Brother Billy kicking the bucket in being instrumental in his reaching 100 years of age.

   If the glove doesn't fit, you must use lubricant. -Diddy...,,, probably

   I didn't even know what to buy people for Christmas until I heard about these exploding pagers and walki-talkies.

   Do the Chinese realize when visiting the USA they're buying souvenirs made in their country?

   Mary kiss-a-moose

   Life hack: Rent the same type of car that you own and switch the tires. Best $39.95 I ever spent.