Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   high on life... dont worry. its just cereal. and its still legal :)

   says Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups..,,.!! :P

   Men may be pigs.. Men may be Dogs.. But after all its women that get married to them.

   performed Plastic Surgery today: I was cutting up all your credit cards.

   Don't you just love how all the Casino billboards get you excited to spend your money then at the bottom of them all they give you the gambler's addiction #... Thats like me putting up a Billboard for a Heroin Party n giving you the # to the cops...

   Kindness is just love with its workboots on.

   poking Osama bin laden to update his location on Facebook.

   There wouldn't be so many warning labels if we didn't have so many stupid people in the world.

   The only thing I hate about having a phone is when people call.

   True Fact: Economic analysts find that the unemployment rate remains at a standstill due to Ryan Seacrest's many job acquisitions within the past several years

   did you stop to think and forget to start again?

   The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying ba$stards.

   Does the State Hospital have weekend package deals? cause I need a vacation!

   Life is like an FB friend list, people come into your life an present unlimited possibilities. What you do with them is up to you. Some you interact with. Some you don't . And some you say "Who the heck is this person and what are they doing in my life?

   you be very careful out there today, we're at terror alert orange! Which means something might go down somewhere in some way at some point in time.

   Tony is telling everybody to remember that there are two words that will open a lot of doors for you " Push and Pull"

   sometimes a majority simply means that most of the fools are on the same side.

   we all have different capacities, what's lacking for you may be too much for me already.. so don't push it.

   Do you think the Man in the Yellow Hat mentions George on his Internet dating profile?"

   No, really, I can't afford to be hungover tomorrow. I mean, unless you're buying, of course.