lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon it's a jungle out there and I ain't lion!
←Rate | 04-22-2015 18:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The spider in my shower was probably relieved to get washed down the drain after the view of me he got from that angle.
←Rate | 01-12-2013 14:01 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reasons people claim to be gay: 3% - are actually gay 97% - forgot to log out of facebook
←Rate | 06-13-2012 20:43 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a p*nis, it's short but it seems so long when it gets hard.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 22:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hear someone's going around stealing all the coffee from the poor. I don't know how he can sleep at night,
←Rate | 06-02-2012 22:18 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Googled "Gary Oldman" and got some pretty disturbing images - he's really let himself go, I thought. Then I realised I'd left the "R" out.
←Rate | 04-10-2012 07:34 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music from the internet.
←Rate | 05-01-2011 17:44 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I must be allergic to peanuts. I break into a rash every payday.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 14:10 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to find your phone when its on silent is one of life`s hardest tasks.
←Rate | 04-25-2011 12:05 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
←Rate | 03-22-2011 14:28 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  



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