lemonpillow Funny Status Messages
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it's a jungle out there and I ain't lion!
The spider in my shower was probably relieved to get washed down the drain after the view of me he got from that angle.
Reasons people claim to be gay: 3% - are actually gay 97% - forgot to log out of facebook
Life is like a p*nis, it's short but it seems so long when it gets hard.
I hear someone's going around stealing all the coffee from the poor. I don't know how he can sleep at night,
I Googled "Gary Oldman" and got some pretty disturbing images - he's really let himself go, I thought. Then I realised I'd left the "R" out.
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music from the internet.
I must be allergic to peanuts. I break into a rash every payday.
Trying to find your phone when its on silent is one of life`s hardest tasks.
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
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