k Funny Status Messages

   Why people diss Wal-Mart? Is it so great that it has the most number of haters?

   Every month you push your kid in a stroller after they can walk is another year they'll live in your house after they turn 18.

   The worst thing about admitting you're an alcoholic is that people will expect you to stop drinking.

   FYI... 1st person to complain about the heat this summer, will be deleted from my friends list, ohhhh & if I see you out in public--I'll slap ur face...

   Just got hit on by a decent looking guy working at Ralphs... He ended up asking 4 my # & I said,"Oh & 2 packs of parliament lights & I'll b paying w my food stamp card." Turns out, no decent looking dude wants to date a 2 pack a day,low income poor woman?

   eating a couch cushion and just found out I'm Oprah's long lost sister!

   You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

   Ran out of bubbles for her bath so she had to make her own.

   thinks she is FIT! And yes, she is definitely unpretentious!