KIsstopher Funny Status Messages
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Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly.
She told me she was a vegan so I pretended I never met herbivore.
I'm black but not "ain't nobody got time for that" black.
Saw a girl at Starbucks with a duck face. Felt bad because I left my bread crumbs at home.
In my car, I control the music. If this is a problem for you, just remember this... your life is in my hands. I am the one who is driving. I can kill us.
If you don’t tell your girlfriend she’s beautiful everyday, 614 guys on Facebook who haven’t had sex or even been on a date in 9 years will.
Ladies, if what you did to him cannot be fixed with a blow job then I suggest you better start looking for a new boyfriend.
Marriage is like prison except the food is better and your cellmate never changes.
Ever just apologize for no reason whatsoever? No? It must be nice being single.
I like reserving tables at restaurants using unique names so I can hear the hostess announce, "Optimus Prime? Your table for 2 is ready!"
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