doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'd love to see the headlines if the day ever came that Arnold Schwarzenegger was diagnosed with a tumor.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 13:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am the type of person who would find having super powers a real hassle
←Rate | 10-23-2013 12:56 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if I hit the gym hard, the best I could hope for is to be 1950's Tarzan shape.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 12:46 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Slipping a tasteful nude photo into my work file... couldn't hurt at this point.
←Rate | 10-16-2013 20:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never did learn how to set the time on a VCR. These kids have no idea how good they have it.
←Rate | 10-14-2013 16:57 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can turn any song into the explict version if I dont really know the words.
←Rate | 10-14-2013 16:56 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon its Columbus Day! Find some people who look comfortable and make them move!
←Rate | 10-14-2013 16:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I think I got away with all the alcohol I've drank...but then I drool mid thought and realize...nope.
←Rate | 10-06-2013 19:29 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just plugged in a USB cord on the first try. Some lucky lady is in for a treat tonight.
←Rate | 10-06-2013 19:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon On arrrr Talk Like a Pirate Day, ye should take a moment to remember being in Davy's grip during the big rat scurvy epidemic.
←Rate | 09-19-2013 19:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Hi, it’s me. I can’t get to the phone right now, even though it’s right here in my hand.”
←Rate | 09-02-2013 17:43 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture.
←Rate | 09-02-2013 17:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fall is fast approaching. Time to sew all my jean legs back on.
←Rate | 08-22-2013 19:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taylor Swift just waved at a boy and he didn't wave back so now she's got a new album coming out tomorrow.
←Rate | 08-22-2013 19:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much for this stat us? Sir, it was on here yesterday. I must have it!
←Rate | 08-22-2013 19:15 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wait a second! Alan Thicke's sone sings that hit R&B song? But I thought Kirk Cameron was a televangelist?
←Rate | 07-09-2013 12:46 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I pee peed all over your bathroom, but my Shakira ringtone came on and my hips reacted naturally.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 20:37 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Michael Douglas ever gets rectal cancer we're in for one hell of a story.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 19:31 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a girl in cutoff jean shorts so unbelievable short that you could see private parts sticking out the bottom of mine.
←Rate | 05-16-2013 14:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon my stomach growled and made the exact noise a dodgeball makes when bouncing off the fat kid.
←Rate | 05-08-2013 16:44 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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