Snotty Funny Status Messages
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Page: 76 of 160
Lately, I have really begun to appreciate the versatility of the word "asshat".
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11-13-2013 12:01 by snotty
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I hope the next Rambo movie is called 'Rambo No. 5' and its just Stallone dancing through the jungle shooting a little bit of this and that.
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11-13-2013 11:57 by snotty
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You should think about donating blood,,,,, All of it
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11-13-2013 11:54 by snotty
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He was so creepy, his van had a basement.
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11-12-2013 21:32 by snotty
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NEWS FLASH: The mother who injected her 8 year old daughter with Botox looses custody... *The child didn't look surprised.
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11-12-2013 17:09 by snotty
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*Buys a 3D printer... *With the 3D printer, prints a 3D printer... *Returns the origional 3D printer
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11-12-2013 16:26 by snotty
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Wiki leaks: kraby patty secret formula
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11-12-2013 16:10 by snotty
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I Just watched guy put a wheel barrow in his shopping cart at the Home Depot.... *I'm just going to let that sit here and sink in.*
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11-10-2013 17:45 by snotty
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Today, I found a potato chip that looked exactly like Jesus.. Then I remembered nobody knows what Jesus actually looked like... So I ate it.
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11-10-2013 17:42 by snotty
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It's like my father used to say "Go get that rock over there... I promise I won't drive away this time."
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11-10-2013 17:38 by snotty
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Pro Tip ~~ Do not make popcorn in laundromat dryers.. It really affects the flavor.
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11-10-2013 17:05 by snotty
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If you didn't go to my sporting events growing up,,,,,, you're dad to me.
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11-10-2013 16:44 by snotty
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Home Depot should sell replacement drywall in pre-cut pieces about as big as a fist,, and ironically call them "drunk angry dad size.".. *I'm sad now*
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11-10-2013 08:10 by snotty
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Dear Mom & Dad,,,Summer Camp looks a lot like a WalMart parking lot.. Also,, Is it usually six months long?... Love Billy
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11-10-2013 08:05 by snotty
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If it weren't for marriage,,, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
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11-10-2013 08:03 by snotty
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ZOMBIE FART JOKE: Pull off my finger.
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11-09-2013 20:38 by snotty
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911 What's your emergency?.. "I JUST FARTED ON A FIRST DATE"... Sir, we don't... "BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE A BALLOON ANIMAL ASKING A QUESTION"
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11-08-2013 18:47 by snotty
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Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.... *If I ever forget my passport, this post doubles as proof of U.S. citizenship.*
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11-07-2013 17:10 by snotty
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that a thesaurus in your pocket?,, Or are you just ebullient to see me?
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11-07-2013 16:51 by snotty
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Amazon: If you spend $17 more dollars, we'll knock off the $3 shipping fee.. Me: You've got yourself a deal, Amazon.... Every- Single- Time.
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11-07-2013 16:50 by snotty
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