Abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages
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I wish the camera would add ten pounds to my bank account
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Dear Facebook: Stop being like my mom and suggesting people for me to be friends with.
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Leaving me a 3 minute voicemail is unnecessary
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Dont smoke...there are cooler ways to die.
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I think when someone asks for advice they're really asking "want to start a debate?"
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There's nothing more exhilarating than playing air guitar in your underwear...
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Happy Discount Chocolate Tuesday!
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would like to remind any unhappy souls today that St Valentine was beaten to death with clubs
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I just got an email asking me if I wanted to "be larger so I could please my lady." Heck no! She's the one who put me on this diet to begin with!
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Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day."
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If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine's Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
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Just to be different, I cry about being single on the 4th of July, and celebrate Valentine's Day with explosives.
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Happy "Romantically Challenged" Day.
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Facebook keeps showing me my ex "people you may know" Yes, FB, "People I wish I didn't know" quit taunting me on Vday!
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What makes the Superbowl half time show better than the Grammys? The Superbowl half-time show was only 1/2 hour.
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Girls gain weight because their brains can't hold all the info so it spreads to other places. Therefore she's not fat, she's a genius.
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When people ask "do you believe in aliens?", I just say "have you seen Lady Gaga?"
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When you find someone who finally understands you, the world will go away.
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If you have kids, your life is kids. If you don't, your life is going out to eat and buying electronics.
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Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year, I'm celebrating Discount Chocolate Tuesday.
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