Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Hey girl, take off your make up, maybe we know eachoter

   age has nothing to do with experience... and everything to do with ability

   still a virgin, but this is an old status

   In about 40-50 years from now, there sure is going to be a lot of old women walking around with tattooes.

   100 people get swine flu and everyone wears a mask... 1,000 people get aids and no one wears a condom... Makes you wonder a little...

   Played Tiger Woods PGA Tour '10 the other day. Funny thing was that the 'cheat codes' were already put into the game.

   Got up this morning and thought 'it looks nice out'....so I'll leave it out.

   eaten so many skittles shes peeing rainbows!

   "Love" is purely a chemical imbalance of serotonin, dopamine, & norepinephrine. It is nothing magical or "special"; just simply an irregularity in the brain; a "two-faced high"

   My name is soo much action, it should be a f*ckng verb!

   This program contains graphic material! Jergens and Kleenex optional!

   going to watch earth hour on T.V

   You're my nothing. Why? Because nothing lasts forever.

   Ever feel like stapling someones ear to their desk and slam a sticky note on their head that says "Help me, my ear is stuck to the table"?

   I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got !"

   you only live once, but if you live it right, once is enough.

   it's ok to kiss a fool, it's ok to let a fool kiss you, but never let a kiss fool you.

   You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"

   life isn't a garden, stop being a hoe.

   I'll take "Things that a crackhead would steal" for $600, Alex.